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            Tag Archives: The Pope

            Current Event Cat of the Day: Pope Says Catholics Don’t Need To Breed Like Rabbits

            Pope Breed Like Rabbits Catholics

            Pope Francis says the church’s birth control ban does not mean that good Roman Catholics should breed like rabbits – instead they should practice “responsible” parenting by abstaining from sex. So much for his “cool pope” image…

            Following his trip to the Philippines, where he met former street children abandoned by parents unable to afford to care for them, the Pope supporting the church’s ban on artificial means of birth control.

            Pope Francis was asked what he would say to families who had more children than they could afford because the Church forbids artificial contraception. The pope reiterated the church’s opposition to government population control programs as a form of “ideological colonization” but stressed that “this does not mean a Christian must make children one after another.”

            “God gives you methods to be responsible,” he told journalists. “Some think that — excuse the word — that in order to be good Catholics we have to be like rabbits. No.”

            Your local Walgreens also gives you methods to be responsible, but unfortunately they don’t supply “church-approved” contraception. The Pope only endorses abstinence or the rhythm method – and apparently spreading AIDS and other STDs around the world. But I suppose AIDS works well with the church’s opposition to government population control programs – it still helps to keep the population down and doesn’t involve the use of condoms. Plus, it might help get rid of those pesky street kids in the Philippines.

            The Pope’s Peace Doves Attacked By Angry Birds


            Pope Francis’ doves of peace became doves in pieces after a seagull and a large black crow swept down and attacked after the doves were set free from an open window.

            Tens of thousands of people gathered in St. Peter’s Square on Sunday to watch the Pope’s weekly Sunday Angelus prayer. Following Pope Francis’ appeal for peace in Ukraine, two children helped the Pontiff release two white doves as a symbolic gesture of peace.

            Peace doves gone wrongBut as the doves were released from the open window of the Apostolic Palace, a seagull and a large black crow went in for the kill. The seagull attacked first, pinning the larger dove against the wall of the palace. Although the dove lost some feathers it eventually managed to break free and fly to freedom. The crow set its sights on the smaller dove and began pecking at it repeatedly until it too managed to fly off into the distance.

            Huh. This doesn’t look great for peace in Ukraine… Right before the doves were released Pope Francis said a prayer for Ukraine, where at least four people have been killed during the latest clashes between anti-government protesters and the police. The mass demonstrations began in November after Ukraine opted not to sign a treaty with the EU and instead strengthen ties with Russia.

            “I am close to Ukraine in prayer, in particular to those who have lost their lives in recent days and to their families,” Francis told the crowd in St Peter’s Square.

            “I hope that a constructive dialogue between the institutions and civil society can take place, that any resort to violence is avoided and that the spirit of peace and a search for the common good is in the hearts of all.”

            Meanwhile, the protests in Ukraine have been spreading beyond Kiev after opposition leader Arseniy Yatsenyuk rejected President Viktor Yanukovych‘s offer to appoint him prime minister. The protesters want more! The opposition is demanding early elections, a free trade agreement with the EU, the release of prisoners, and a repeal of the recently introduced public protest ban (which I don’t think is working btw…) But the government says their efforts to peacefully negotiate and resolve unrest in the capital are “futile” and blame the negotiation failure on the radical arm of the opposition.

            So maybe the peace dove attack was a sign from God that things in the Ukraine are going to get worse before they get better? I mean, if a burnt grilled cheese sandwich slightly resembling Jesus is a sign from God, surely this is too.

            Via: &

            Pope Wins Person of the Year, May be a Marxist… And Other News

            Person of the Year

            Pope Francis, the poor man’s pope, has won the title of Time magazine’s Person of the Year. And there was some stiff competition this year!

            Pope Francis beat out other Person of the Year candidates including Syrian President Bashir al-Assad, Ted Cruz, and Miley Cyrus. “What makes this pope so important is the speed at which he’s captured the imaginations of millions who had given up on hoping for the church at all,” writes Time. Yes, I suppose he’s a better Person of the Year candidate than a Syrian dictator, an obnoxiously stubborn Republican, and a twerking pop star, but there have been some grumblings among the American conservative media circuit about Pope Francis and his socialist leanings. Some (Rush Limbaugh and crew) have taken the pope’s views on structural inequality and the pitfalls of capitalism to mean that he’s a total Marxist. But the pope doesn’t seem to mind. “Marxist ideology is wrong,” Pope Francis said. “But I have met many Marxists in my life who are good people, so I don’t feel offended.”

            Gay Refugees Can Now Flock to Europe… And Other News

            Gay Refugees

            The European Union’s high court has ruled that refugees under attack for being homosexual in their 体彩手机在线怎么下载 countries have grounds to be granted asylum. And suddenly every African mysteriously turned gay…

            The EU court concluded that concealing sexual orientation to avoid persecution is equal to giving up a “characteristic fundamental to a person’s identity.” The court’s ruling concerned three homosexual men from Sierra Leone, Uganda and Senegal who had all sought asylum in Holland. But the court’s ruling applies to all EU countries and now any gay person can apply for asylum as long as they prove a “well-founded fear” of persecution. Since homosexual acts are illegal in most African countries, anti-immigration Europeans are worried about the rising tide of pseudo-gay Africans refugees infiltrating their country体彩手机在线怎么下载. Meh. Canada has been accepting gay refugees for years and the last time I checked (5 minutes ago), the number of homosexual / fauxmosexual Africans refugees walking around the streets of Canada is still relatively low. Although to be fair, Canada isn’t exactly next door to Africa. Europe’s a little easier to access – just a quick

            . “Frankly some women’s bodies just don’t actually work for it,” Chip told Bloomberg TV, arguing, “It’s really about the rubbing through the thighs, how much pressure is there over a period of time.” What a great way to win over your target market of women aged 18-34: “Our material isn’t poor quality – you just have thunder thighs!”


            Current Event Cat of the Day: Pope Francis & Homosexuals

            Current Event Cat - Gay Priests Pope Francis

            Pope Francis announces that that homosexuals should not be judged or marginalized and should be integrated into society.

            The Pope’s new position is that homosexual acts are sinful, but homosexual orientation is not. Therefore priests can be gay, as long as they don’t act on their urges – which shouldn’t be too difficult considering they’re supposed to be celibate. Same thing for pedophiles – as long as they don’t act on it, they can still be priests they can be priests regardless of how many young boys they’ve molested.

            Still, the Pope’s idea to forgive gay clergymen is a bit more progressive than Pope Benedict XVI, who signed a document in 2005 that said men with deep-rooted homosexual tendencies should not be priests.

            Pope Francis also stressed that god-loving homosexuals should not be shunned or discriminated against but rather integrated into society.

            “If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has goodwill, who am I to judge?” Francis said on a plane returning from his week-long trip to Brazil.

            Looks like a little vacay in Brazil was all Pope Francis needed to get on board the gay train. Well, I wouldn’t say he’s fully onboard considering he still reaffirmed the Church teaching that homosexual acts are a sin. I guess it’s more like he has acknowledged homosexuals exist and others should exist along beside them. One step at a time!

            Pope Francis also said he wanted a greater role for women in the Church, but insisted the ban on women priests is “definitive”.

            “The Church has spoken and says no … that door is closed.”

            The Roman Catholic Church’s new slogan: “We’re progressive. But not really….”

            Via: &

            Nuns Gone Wild… And Other News

            Nuns Gone Wild

            Nuns gone wild! The pope says NOPE to feminist nuns.

            Pope Francis has reaffirmed the Vatican’s criticism of US nuns, accusing them of promoting “radical feminist themes” and ignoring the Vatican’s opposition to same-sex marriage and abortion. Not to worry though – the Vatican has dispatched an archbishop to set up reeducation programs to bring the out-of-control nuns back into line. If Sister Act (and let’s not forget Sister Act 2 and 3!) was any indication of nuns gone wild, the Vatican has their work cut out for them.

            FriendsNeed more friends? StarMedia, some kind of Latin entertainment site, reports that “NBC network has confirmed they will launch a new season of Friends on 2014, it will be about their story in a comeback reunion! It’s still unknown if the original actors will accept NBC’s deal, but the dream of “Friends” reunion is closer than ever!” A rumour like this MUST be true if there are typos in the announcement (on 2014) and no other entertainment source seems to be aware of it. But just to be on the safe side, I wouldn’t hold your breath. StarMedia

            The Pope is Slumming it… and Other News.

            The Pope

            The Pope is slumming it. Pope Francis, known for taking the bus and , has shunned the regal papal apartment that sits on top of the Apostolic Palace. Instead, he opted for a simple Vatican 体彩手机在线怎么下载 alongside other clergy. The pope is currently staying in a simple two-room flat in Domus Santa Martha. His decision to stay in the humble abode is consistent with his desire for the religion to become a ‘poor church, for the poor’ and to prioritise disadvantaged groups. Well, he’s certainly making Pope Benedict sound like a dick.

            being like this…..


            New Pope, New Hope? Nope.

            Pope Francis Waves

            The former archbishop of Buenos Aires, Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis), began his reign as Pope today and so far he’s mastered the task of waving and staring blankly at an obedient mass. Nailed it!

            Pope Benedict XVI left behind an out of touch church, plagued with clerical sex abuse scandals, internal divisions and dwindling numbers. Will Pope Francis be able to turn any of this around? Let’s take a quick look at his stats.

            • He is the first pope from Latin America and the first from outside Europe in more than 1,000 years. Not bad. His parents are Italian though.
            • He is the first Jesuit to be named a pope. Ok, not even sure what that means.
            • He had a lung removed when he was a teenager due to an infection. Hmm. Sounds like he might pull a Benedict and step down due to old age syndrome.
            • He lives a simple life. He rides a bus to work, wears an ordinary priest’s robe and lives with an older priest in a simple apartment where he cooks his own meals. Sounds kind of gay but alright.
            • He is a conservative who is and anti-gay adoption. He has described same-sex marriage as the work of the devil and a “destructive attack on God’s plan.” Ok, maybe not so gay… or just in the closet gay.
            • He has rallied his clergy against the ‘culture of death’ (i.e he’s not a fan of abortion or distributing contraception). Yeah, I’m not really feeling this Pope.

            After this extremely ‘in-depth’ analysis, I don’t think we can expect Pope Francis to foster any major changes to the church. He seems like more of a status-quo pope. Maybe Dennis Rodman would have been a better choice after all…

            The Better Pope

            Who would make a better Pope?

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            Dennis Rodman is on a Diplomatic Mission to Save the World. Or F*ck it up.

            Dennis Rodman Wants the Pope

            Fresh off his recent success easing the escalating tensions between North Korea and every other country体彩手机在线怎么下载, Dennis Rodman now has his sights set on Rome, and in particular, the Pope.

            Reports that Rodman, North Korea’s favourite washed up NBA star and self-appointed diplomat, is flying to Rome in hopes of sitting down with the new Pope (who has yet to even be elected…).

            Rodman will be landing late tonight but says his “people” are already in Rome trying to negotiate a meeting. Rodman hopes to get there in time to see the magic white pope smoke, and given that there is no current pope frontrunner, it’s unlikely the smoke will appear before Rodman’s arrival.

            However, unless the new pope is as big of a basketball fan as his best friend Kim Jong-un, I don’t think Rodman should get his hopes up. It’s unlikely the pope will be jumping at the chance to meet a body art aficionado once to Madonna.

            As for the purpose of his mission?

            “I want to be anywhere in the world that I’m needed … I want to spread a message of peace and love throughout the world.”

            And you thought you were done hearing about Dennis Rodman….


            Current Event Cat of the Day

            Current Event Cat Pope Vote

            Current Event Cat of the Day: Cardinals have attended a special Mass in Rome, as they prepare to begin voting to elect a new Pope. They will convene in the Sistine Chapel later today to begin their secret deliberations. There is no clear frontrunner at this point.


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