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            Tag Archives: Government Shutdown

            The Budget is Passed and Now Republicans Can Concentrate on Killing Obamacare

            Budget Deal

            Just in time for a nice, long holiday break, Congress put aside their differences, came to a budget compromise, and avoided another government shutdown.

            The House passed a two-year bipartisan budget plan on Thursday night, their final task before the Christmas holidays. The Senate is still needs to pass the deal this week, but it looks like it will be smooth sailing. The new budget will reduce automatic spending cuts by $63 billion in the next two years and reduce the deficit by $23 billion. But most importantly, the bipartisan budget deal avoids another potential government shutdown – for two whole years!

            The passing of the “meeting in the middle” budget seems to signal a shift for House Republicans away from the staunchly uncompromising attitudes that have given us multiple standoffs, threats of default and lingering government shutdowns.

            But what sparked this sudden change in attitude? Was it the spirit of the season that prompted this compromise? Or was it something else? (It was something else)

            On Sunday, Rep. Paul Ryan defended the budget deal to avert further shutdown, saying that it would allow the Republican Party toPresident Barack Obama’s health care reform law.

            “I think we have to replace this law,” he insisted. “I believe we can have a system in this country体彩手机在线怎么下载 where everybody has access to affordable health care, including people with preexisting conditions, without it costing a government takeover with more freedom.”

            “We like the fact, for the economy, no shutdowns,” he said. “We also don’t want to have shutdown drama so we can focus on replacing Obamacare, so we can focus on showing better ideas than what this is coming.”

            So first they caused a shutdown in an attempt to kill Obamacare, and now they’re avoiding a shutdown in an attempt to kill Obamacare. Makes sense. After all, according to Bob Rucho, a Republican senator from North Carolina, Obamacare is worse than Hilter and Stalin and bin Laden COMBINED.

            “Justice Robert’s pen & Obamacare has done more damage to the USA then the swords of the Nazis, Soviets & terrorists combined,” .

            Bob Rucho has been working tirelessly to kill Obamacare. He was the primary sponsor of a bill this year to prohibit North Carolina from setting up a health insurance exchange or participating in the Medicaid expansion, which has kept 377,000 North Carolinians from Medicaid coverage. And now with the new budget deal, Rucho will have plenty more time to work out his plan to kill Obamacare – unless the death panels get to him first.


            Gay Refugees Can Now Flock to Europe… And Other News

            Gay Refugees

            The European Union’s high court has ruled that refugees under attack for being homosexual in their 体彩手机在线怎么下载 countries have grounds to be granted asylum. And suddenly every African mysteriously turned gay…

            The EU court concluded that concealing sexual orientation to avoid persecution is equal to giving up a “characteristic fundamental to a person’s identity.” The court’s ruling concerned three homosexual men from Sierra Leone, Uganda and Senegal who had all sought asylum in Holland. But the court’s ruling applies to all EU countries and now any gay person can apply for asylum as long as they prove a “well-founded fear” of persecution. Since homosexual acts are illegal in most African countries, anti-immigration Europeans are worried about the rising tide of pseudo-gay Africans refugees infiltrating their country体彩手机在线怎么下载. Meh. Canada has been accepting gay refugees for years and the last time I checked (5 minutes ago), the number of homosexual / fauxmosexual Africans refugees walking around the streets of Canada is still relatively low. Although to be fair, Canada isn’t exactly next door to Africa. Europe’s a little easier to access – just a quick

            . “Frankly some women’s bodies just don’t actually work for it,” Chip told Bloomberg TV, arguing, “It’s really about the rubbing through the thighs, how much pressure is there over a period of time.” What a great way to win over your target market of women aged 18-34: “Our material isn’t poor quality – you just have thunder thighs!”

            NSA Head to Step Down… And Other News


            The NSA is getting re-branded!

            Army General Keith Alexander will step down after eight years on top of the NSA. The White House downplayed suggestions that Alexander’s decision to retire was because of the damage done to the NSA’s reputation after the Edward Snowden leak fiasco. But there’s nothing like a fresh face to win over the American public! As for Keith Alexander, you can add in a happy retirement note to your next email – he’ll find it.

            It Was All A Trap! President Obama Planned the Whole Government Shutdown!

            Obama Trap

            After the Republicans’ “brilliant plan” to shutdown the government in order to get rid of Obamacare turned out to be not so brilliant, they need to find someone to blame – and author Ed Klein has just the person(s): Obama and his senior adviser Valerie B. Jarrett.

            Ed Klein, who wrote a widely criticized biography of Obama called The Amateur, claims that President Barack Obama deliberately lured Republicans into a trap planned by his senior advisor Valerie Jarrett. Go on…

            “(Jarrett) convinced the president that a government shutdown and default offered a great opportunity to demonize the Republicans and help the Democrats win back a majority in the House of Representatives in 2014,” Klein told .

            “Valerie also came with the idea of using the words ‘hostage’, and ‘ransom’ and ‘terrorists’ against the Republicans,” Klein added.

            Of course they didn’t screw themselves over – they were trapped! And by a Kenyan-commmunist-Muslim!

            Over several late night strategy sessions, Obama and his advisor devised the diabolical plan to refuse to negotiate with the Republicans, make them look like fools and drive their favorability ratings into the ground.

            Well, if that was their plan, it certainly worked well. reveal that Americans place the blame mainly on the GOP with nearly three-quarters disapproving of Republicans’ handling of the budget crisis. If only they hadn’t fallen for that trap! Or had just passed the budget in the first place and foiled the Democrats evil “plan”.

            Hindsight’s 20/20 – except if you belong to the Tea Party. Some Republicans are eager to fall into the “trap” again come the next debt-celling standoff. Rep. John C. Fleming said he’s already looking forward to the next shutdown, telling , “That will get us into Round 2. See, we’re going to start this all over again.” Sigh…



            Current Event Cat of the Day: Deal signed! Crisis Averted! For Now…

            Current Event Cat - Deal Signed

            The Senate deal has been signed, sealed, and delivered to Obama. The debt ceiling crisis / government shutdown fiasco is over! At least until January… then we start all over again.

            On Wednesday evening the House sucked it up and passed the deal the Senate put together with a 285 to 144 vote. The usual party poopers – Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Paul Ryan, etc. – all voted against the deal, but luckily enough Republicans felt that they should put this whole ugly mess behind them and sided with the Democrats.

            The deal itself, which was passed just a day before the debt ceiling deadline, will allow funding for the government until January 15 and raise the debt limit through February 7. As for the Obamacare concessions, the deal lacks any major legislative changes to Obamacare. So was shutting down the government for two weeks worth it for the Tea Party gang? Answer: no. They didn’t get much – and they might get even less come election time.

            As for Obama, he’s pretty tired of debt ceiling standoffs. Speaking from the State Dining Room at the White House, Obama addressed the nation, thanking the federal employees for their patience and urging bipartisan compromise in the weeks ahead.

            “Let’s be clear, there are no winners here,” Obama said. “These last few weeks have inflicted completely unnecessary damage on our economy. We don’t know yet the full scope of the damage, but every analyst out there believes it’s slowed our growth.”

            “The American people are completely fed up with Washington,” he added. “How business is done in this town has to change.”

            But in the meantime, it’s back to work for the furloughed government employees. The good news is the hundred of thousands of federal workers will receive back pay for the 16 days the government was shutdown. The bad news is they have to go back to work. But at least now senior citizens can stop breaking into national parks. Until January, of course, when this happens all over again…



            Current Event Cat of the Day: Debt Ceiling Deadline

            Current EVent Cat - Debt Deadline

            It’s T-12 hours until the world implodes and it’s all in the capable hands of the Senate now. Majority Leader Harry Reid and Minority Leader Mitch McConnell are “apparently” close to finalizing a deal to reopen the government and avoid debt default ahead of the midnight Thursday deadline.

            The U.S. Senate leaders are “optimistic” about scrounging together a bipartisan deal after negotiations failed to produce anything concrete on Tuesday night. But today is a new day and they will reconvene at noon to try again. There’s no pressure anyways – except from the calendar deadline, financial markets and public opinion polls.

            Once the Senate a deal in place, the House will still need to vote on it and send it off for Obamapproval. While it’s not 100% finalized yet, their plan reportedly would extend the federal borrowing limit until February 7 and fund the government to mid-January, and would include relatively minor changes to Obama’s signature healthcare law, affectionately/angrily known as Obamacare.

            The House itself, led by Speaker John Boehner, was unable to produce a bill of its own that would pass. But John Boehner still has one important task: he must muster up enough votes in the Republican-led House to pass the Senate bill before he midnight deadline. A daunting task given recent Tea Party antics…

            Meanwhile, the Fitch credit rating agency is just itching to push the downgrade button on the U.S.’s AAA rating. And once that happens, the U.S government will… ? Implode? Cause the markets to crash? All three?


            Update: The Senate has reached a cross-party deal! Next stop: the House. Last Stop: Obama’s desk.

            Republicans Are Still To Blame… And Other News

            Blame for Shutdown Republicans

            Despite what this totally legitimate Fox News survey says, most polls show quite the opposite: Americans are blaming the Republicans for the recent government shutdown.

            A new finds 74 percent of Americans disapprove of the way Republicans in Congress are handling negotiations over the budget – up from 63 percent at the start of the shutdown. Disapproval of congressional Democrats has also risen – albeit by a smaller amount — 56 to 61 percent. But what sucks even worse for the GOP is that less than half of self-identified Republicans approve of their own party’s strategy. Maybe they should just sign on to the

            … that was quick.


            Current Event Cat of the Day: Rival Budget Plans

            Current Event Cat - Rival Budgets

            Because no one likes to work together, the two chambers of US Congress have been working separating to put together two rival budget plans to extend the debt limit and reopen the federal government.

            The Democratic-dominated Senate spent all of Canadian Thanksgiving cursing Canada for giving them Ted Cruz and running a negotiation marathon. They are reportedly close to a deal but word on the street / common sense has it that the Republicans won’t be thrilled. The Senate measure would reopen the government through Jan. 15, thereby taking some of the pressure off the debt-ceiling crisis and its Oct 17 deadline. The Senate deal may also make a few concessions on the issue of Obamacare. The Senate proposal would invoke a two-year delay on a per-employee tax paid by companies and labour unions on workers’ healthcare plans.

            “There are productive negotiations going on with the Republican leader,” Speaker Harry Reid said as he opened the Senate Tuesday. “I’m confident we’ll be able to reach a comprehensive agreement this week in time to avert a catastrophic default.”

            However, Obama and the congressional Democrats have made it pretty clear that they are unwilling to negotiate changes to Obamacare… so we’ll see what happens there.

            On the other side of the spectrum, House GOP leaders have crafted their own rival budget plan, which raises also the debt ceiling until January and (big surprise) modifies Obamacare. The counter plan involves suspending a new tax on medical devices used to pay for healthcare subsidies for two years.

            But again, while the Republican’s rival budget plan is a far cry from the original assault on “Obamacare” that Tea Party enthusiasts demanded, Obama may not be willing to make any concessions on Obamacare.

            Breaking Update: Obama just said no. The White House rejected the House’s proposal, labelling it an attempt to appease a small group of conservatives. Obama thought the Senate plan was ok though.

            Luckily, Republicans have a backup plan to their rival budget plan: impeach Obama! At a Monday night Tea Party rally, Texas Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst . Dewhurst, who lost a Senate race to Ted Cruz, strongly believes Obama “should be held accountable for Washington’s failure to secure the border and the gross overreach of the federal government under Obamacare.” There’s only one small problem with this plan: disagreeing with a president’s policies or actions does not mean that they warrant impeachment.

            Via: &

            Lesus Christ! The Italian Mint Screws Up… And Other News

            Lesus Christ

            What would Lesus do? He would probably spell his name correctly.

            The Italian State Mint misspelled Jesus on special medals for the Vatican to commemorate a new pontiff. The Vatican has had to pull over 6,000 of the gold, silver, and bronze collectibles that went on sale Tuesday which spelled “Jesus” as “Lesus.” The four lucky buyers who managed to get their hands on the Lesus medals before the error was noticed may be in for a treat – experts are predicting the value of the medals will soar. Lesus Christ!

            – something cats certainly can’t do. Researchers found that African elephants could read their visual cues and locate buckets of fruit. Meanwhile, in Missouri, a 41-year-old elephant charged and killed a zookeeper who had come to feed her. What set off the incident is unclear but I’m pretty sure the zookeeper gave the elephant the finger. CNN

            at a young age and he wasn’t able to shutdown their government. Also, they don’t have a looming debt-ceiling crisis. Yay!

            Death by Masturbation… And Other News

            Death by Masturbation

            Did Ariel Castro die during masturbation? Possibly.

            New details have emerged about the death of the Cleveland kidnapper who was found hanging in his prison cell while awaiting trial. Officials say Castro’s hanging body was discovered sans pants. Since his underwear was around his ankles and he didn’t leave a suicide note officials are considering death by autoerotic asphyxiation, a way of intensifying orgasm during masturbation by depriving the body of oxygen. An open Bible was also found nearby. Masturbation and a Bible? What a way to go!

            Kenya-policeKenyan police must be super busy with the shopping mall attack investigation because they don’t seem to be doing much else. Citizens are outraged after three men accused of gang-raping a 16-year-old and dumping her in an outhouse were only sentenced to 5 years in prison. Just kidding – they won’t serve any jail time. Instead their punishment was cutting grass around the police camp – for a couple of hours. The victim was attacked after returning 体彩手机在线怎么下载 from her grandfather’s funeral (!) and broke her back during the struggle. She now uses a wheelchair – otherwise they’d probably make her cut grass with the gang bangers. BBC News

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