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            Archive | October, 2013

            Sriracha Sauce Causes Stink in California Town… And Other News

            Sriracha Sauce

            Spicy Sriracha fumes cause terrible side effects? That’s what residents of Irwindale, California say.

            The community of Irwindale sued Huy Fong Foods, the makers of Sriracha hot sauce, on Monday, claiming the spicy scent of ground peppers is a public nuisance in violation of the municipal code. While many people have been fouling the air for years with the help of Sriracha laced food, Irwindale residents have had it with the factory, complaining of burning eyes and throats. Huy Fong officials don’t understand what the fuss is about. David Tran, chief executive and founder, says the Sriracha sauce chilies are pungent for a reason — it makes for a better sauce: “If it doesn’t smell, we can’t sell!”

            The Apple Doesn’t Fall Too Far From The Cruz Family Tree

            Rafael and Ted Cruz

            It should really come as no surprise, but Rafael Cuz, the father of Senator and Anti-Obamacare Crusader Ted Cruz, is a little nuts.

            Since his son’s rise to political fame, the Cuban-born evangelical minister Rafael Cruz, has been out and about promoting his son as a “political savior” and spewing other words of wisdom.

            During his son’s Senate campaign last year, Rafael Cruz told a tea party group he thinks President Barack Obama is an “outright Marxist” who “seeks to destroy all concept of God.” He then urged the audience to send him “back to Kenya.” Interesting choice of words coming from an actual Cuban immigrant who actually fought for Communist Fidel Castro in the Cuban Revolution and has a Canadian-born son

            In other clips found of the elder Cruz, he can be seen declaring America a “Christian Nation” and blasting Obama for being on the side of the Muslims.

            Now, everyone gets embarrassed by the crap that their parents say every now and then – but not Ted Cruz. He considers his father a political asset and often cites the Cuban-born Rafael Cruz as an example of the American dream (the LEGAL American dream) when discussing immigration. And Ted Cruz doesn’t just use his father’s story for political gain – he also campaigns with him and lets him speak to tea party and Republican groups in Texas as his replacement.

            Rafael Cruz has now because a Tea Party idol in his own right – and his craziness, extreme conservatism, and Christian fundamentalism show no signs of stopping. Just a few weeks ago he told a gathering of Republicans in Colorado that Obamacare mandates “suicide counseling” for the elderly, and that gay marriage is a plot to make “government your god.”

            This explains a lot about Ted Cruz… I don’t think the apple even left the tree.


            Just Bought a Dell Lattitude 6430u? Urine For A Surprise!

            Dell Cat Pee

            Dude, you’re getting a Smell! Dell computers have agreed to issue replacement vouchers to the thousands of customers who complained about their laptops reeking like cat urine.

            The “cat pee” issue was brought to light after owners of the new Latitude E6430u laptops complained on Dell forums about the strong smell coming from their computer.

            “A few weeks ago I got a new Lattitude 6430u for work,” one user called Three West . “The machine is great, but it smells as if it was assembled near a tomcat’s litter box. It is truly awful!”

            Another customer, Hoteca, said: “I thought for sure one of my cats sprayed it, but there was something faulty with it so I had it replaced. The next one had the same exact issue. It’s embarrassing taking it to clients because it smells so bad.”

            Users complained that the smell was coming mainly from the keyboard and some initially blamed their cats for the odour. Dell support technicians said they were crazy and it MUST be their cats. The techies suggested that they clean their laptop air vents with compressed air – but, alas, cat pee still filled the air.

            Finally Dell acknowledged their mistake and blamed the smell on “a manufacturing process that has now been changed.”

            “The smell is not related to cat urine or any other type of biological contaminant, nor is it a health hazard,” Dell support technician SteveB said.

            Dell insists the manufacturing issue has been resolved and all new laptops should be cat urine free.

            But one user still isn’t convinced:

            “I just received my 5th replacement 6430u yesterday and the smell is still there.”

            Maybe in his case, his cat actually did pee on the laptop…


            Current Event Cat of the Day: Health Care Website

            Health Care Website

            As the increasingly negative media coverage regarding the health care website rages on, President Barack Obama vows to “take full responsibility for making sure it gets fixed ASAP.”

            The federal website where consumers can shop for health insurance plans has been plagued with glitches since its rollout on October 1. While at first Democrats assumed the server was crashing because so many people were hungry to sign up for health care, they soon realized there were bigger issues at hand.

            Obama, whose approval ratings just hit a record low of 42 percent, blasted the health care website saying he is “not happy” with the problems users have been experiencing.

            “There’s no denying it. Right now, the website is too slow, too many people have gotten stuck. And I am not happy about it…There’s no excuse for it,” Obama said during a speech on Wednesday.

            Maybe he would have been happier if they had done a few more test runs on the health care website before they launched it. Turns out the website was made public despite some still apparent glitches. The system failed repeatedly during test rounds only days before it officially launched.

            The Health and Human 体彩手机在线怎么下载 Secretary, Kathleen Sebelius, has admitted Healthcare.gov had “serious problems” and she said she is “as frustrated and angry as anyone” with the flawed rollout. While testifying before a House committee she also apologized to consumers for the technical issues on HealthCare.gov.

            Hold me accountable for the debacle,” she told House of Representatives. “I’m responsible.”

            “You deserve better. I apologise. I’m accountable to you for fixing these problems.” Sebelius continued, addressing the American public.

            Wait, I thought Obama just said he was fully responsible? The Republicans need a clear figure to blame – so figure it out! Or just fix the damn website.


            9/11 Is A Sound Bite That Resonates With The NSA… And Other News

            9/11 defense NSA

            If there’s one thing Americans can thank the terrorists who crashed into the Twin Towers for, it’s the use of the word 9/11.

            9/11 is the best defense ever! Why did you invade Iraq? 9/11. Why did you pass the Patriot Act? 9/11. Why are you torturing those prisoners? 9/11. Why is defense spending 250% of our GDP? 9/11. Why did Dick Cheney shoot an old man in the face? 9/11. And now it’s being used as a defense for NSA surveillance. According to a memo obtained by Al Jazeera America, the NSA instructed its officials to shout “9/11!!!” whenever they had to justify their love of spying. Under the subheading “Sound Bites That Resonate,” the memo suggests using the following phrase to justify their eavesdropping: “I much prefer to be here today explaining these programs, than explaining another 9/11 event that we were not able to prevent.” Pretty good – but they can probably simplify it a bit by saying “9/11.”

            Evil ClownThis post brought to you by your worst nightmare: a child-abusing clown. A Milwaukee man, dressed as a clown, drunkenly held a child over a railroad overpass. After returning 体彩手机在线怎么下载 from a Halloween party at 1a.m., Antonio Brown, asked his girlfriend’s two children, aged 13 and 8, to go on a walk with him. Lesson #1: never accept an invite from a drunken clown. Then Brown the Clown forced them to drink and dragged them into the woods. When they tried to escape, Brown picked up the older child and hung him by his feet over the railroad overpass while yelling, “If you do that again, I’m going to drop you.” Lesson #2: never try to escape from a drunken clown. Luckily a passerby saw the children crying, called the cops, and Brown was arrested and charged with two counts of physical abuse of a child and two counts of second-degree recklessly endangering safety. Gawker

            Rand Paul Plagiarizes From Wikipedia

            Rand Paul Wikipedia

            Rand Paul has been accused of plagiarizing parts of the speech he gave Monday at Liberty University in Virginia from Wikipedia.

            MSNBC television show host Rachel Maddow broke the story, claiming Rand Paul stole four lines from a Wikipedia entry about the movie “Gattaca.”

            “When you are running for president, a plagiarism scandal is not what you want on your resume, especially not something as embarrassing as plagiarizing Wikipedia, but that is what Rand Paul has on his hands now,” Maddow said.

            First, why was Rand Paul talking about a sci-fi movie? Well, he was using it as a cautionary tale, warning the audience that America could devolve into a society where genetic discrimination blah blah blah something anti-abortion.

            Now, some of you Rand Paul lovers out there (Ron Paul?) are probably thinking, Rand Paul didn’t plagiarize from Wikipedia, he probably just wrote the Wikipedia entry himself after his speech went over so well! FALSE. The revision history of the Gattaca Wikipedia page revealed that no changes were made after Paul’s speech.

            Also, this isn’t the first time Rand Paul/Rand Paul’s disgraced speechwriter has used movie exerts from Wikipedia to make a point. In a June speech to a bunch of Hispanic business leaders, he gave an almost word-for-word recitation of the Wikipedia entry for the movie “Stand and Deliver,” a film about an inner city math teacher.

            Rand Paul’s office has refused to talk to anyone about the Wikipedia accusations… probably because they no longer have a speechwriter to fake a decent apology.


            Trick or Treat? Step On The Scale First.

            Trick or Treat Halloween

            A North Dakota (or possibly Minnesota) woman is handing out delicious Halloween treats to children this year. Unless you’re a fat kid – then you get a trick in the form of a condescending letter.

            The woman, known as Cheryl, has taken childhood obesity into her own hands, deciding to give a letter instead of candy to Halloween trick or treaters that she feels are “moderately obese.”

            Cheryl called in to radio station and explained her plan.

            “I just want to send a message to the parents of kids that are really overweight… I think it’s just really irresponsible of parents to send them out looking for free candy just ’cause all the other kids are doing it,” the woman said.

            So instead of handing out healthy snacks to everyone, Cheryl is going for the judgmental letter that singles out the moderate to extreme fatties.

            The letter reads:

            “You [sic] child is, in my opinion, moderately obese and should not be consuming sugar and treats to the extent of some children this Halloween season. My hope is that you will step up and parent and ration candy this Halloween and not allow your child to continue these unhealthy eating habits.”

            West Fargo

            Well, at least the festive jack-o-lantern softens the “your kid is a fatass” blow. Thanks clip-art!

            As for Cheryl, this Halloween she can expect to receive a lot of toilet paper and perhaps some flaming bags of dog poop.

            Via: Raw Story

            Russia Does Spying the Right Way – with Goodie Bags!

            Russia Spying Goodie Bags

            While the U.S scrambles to defend their love of eavesdropping in the wake of recent allegations involving spying on foreign leaders, Russia has found itself in the middle of its own spying scandal – involving goodie bags.

            Russia has been accused of spying on G20 leaders using a clever goodie bag ruse. According to the allegations made by two Italian newspapers, devious Russian agents placed USB pen drives and phone chargers in goodie bags at the G-20 that would copy and send sensitive information.

            The devices found in the goodie bags were given to foreign delegates, including heads of state, at the summit near St Petersburg. Apparently the USB sticks contained a Trojan horse programme designed to obtain information and the cell phone chargers were also capable of secretly tapping into emails, text messages and telephone calls.

            Suspicions were first raised about the Russian spying trickery by Herman Van Rompuy, the President of the European Council. He ordered the “poisoned gifts” from Putin to be analyzed by intelligence experts in Brussels, as well as Germany’s secret service. European Commission spokesman Frederic Vincent said that so far the “analysis of hardware and software have not amounted to any serious security concerns” but the investigation is not yet complete.

            Dmitry Peskov, Vladimir Putin’s spokesman, vehemently denied the allegations, dismissing the Italian stories as nothing more than a poorly disguised effort to divert attention from the whole NSA fiasco.

            “This is undoubtedly nothing but an attempt to shift the focus from issues that truly exist in relations between European capitals and Washington to unsubstantiated, non-existent issues,” he was quoted as saying by RIA news agency.

            To sum up: everyone is spying on you, ALL OF THE TIME.


            Current Event Cat of the Day: Prisoners for Settlements

            Current Event Cat - Prisoners Settlements

            Israel released 26 Palestinian prisoners convicted of killing Israelis – but also announced plans to build 1,500 new housing settlements on land in East Jerusalem that had been marked by Palestine for a future state. So… they’re even?

            An Israeli prison spokesperson announced on Tuesday that Israel has released 26 Palestinian prisoners, as part of a deal that spurred the current Israeli-Palestinian peace talks. The release was the second part of an expected four rounds. A total of 104 prisoners (or terrorists, as the Israeli public calls them) are expected to be released as part of the deal.

            The reaction in Palestine: Joy! Celebrations erupted in the Palestinian territories as the prisoners (or heroes who fought for independence, as the Palestinian public calls them) were freed.

            The reaction in Israel: Anger! The decision to release the prisoners triggered a lot of rage in Israel, where many view the prisoners as terrorists who have committed horrible crimes against Israelis.

            Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was in a bit of a pickle. On the one hand, he had to release the prisoners as part of that stupid US-brokered peace deal John Kerry badgered him into. But on the other hand, everyone was pretty pissed at him for freeing the convicted killers – especially his right-wing coalition members.

            So in a bid to appease the haters, Netanyahu announced on Wednesday plans to build hundreds of new settlement 体彩手机在线怎么下载s on land that the Palestinians want for a future state.

            Naturally, the Palestinian Authority reacted angrily to Wednesday’s announcement, calling the move “destructive to peace efforts”.

            To sum up: there are problems in the region that not even John Kerry can fix.


            Uber Delivers Kittens for National Cat Day… And Other News

            Uber Kittens

            I’ll take one taxi full of kittens! The car service Uber is delivering kittens to customers in celebration of National Cat Day.

            Uber teamed up with Cheezburger to allow users to order some much needed kittens snuggles. Customers who live in San Francisco, New York, or Seattle can order 15 minutes worth of kitten snuggletime for the low cost of $20!

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