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            Archive | June, 2013

            Rick Perry Kills Everyone’s Buzz… And Other News

            Rick Perry is a Downer

            Rick Perry – what a buzz kill!

            After Senator Wendy Davis’s famous filibuster marathon to stop a restrictive abortion bill from passing, Texas Governor Rick Perry, aka Buzz McKillington, called for the Texas Legislature to meet in a second special session July 1 to try for a second time to pass the abortion restrictions. The Rick Perry desired restrictions include reducing the abortion deadline to 20 weeks and imposing restrictions on clinics, which would effectively close down all but 5 abortion clinics in the state of Texas.

            “I am calling the Legislature back into session because too much important work remains undone for the people of Texas,” Rick Perry said in a statement. “Texans value life and want to protect women and the unborn.”

            His decision to call another special session gives lawmakers 30 more days to push the bill through. Which basically means Davis’s 12-hour speech (with no bathroom breaks, food breaks, sitting breaks, going off topic breaks) may be purely symbolic.

            ) are trapped in some kind of My Little Pony fetish, Singaporeans are freaking out over McDonald’s Hello Kitty toys. All over the city-state, long lines are forming outside of McDonald’s restaurants as customers push and shove for the chance to get their paws on the infamous black Hello Kitty, the last in a series of six limited-edition Hello Kitty characters dressed in different outfits from popular fairy tales. If there are two things Singaporeans are known for it’s impoliteness and the inability to form a line – so it’s no surprise that a few fights broke out along the way. Perhaps instead of selling the Hello Kitty toys, McDonald’s should hand out face masks instead – they might be a bit more effective at

            Canada DayIt’s Canada Day Weekend!!! Time to celebrate Canada’s 146th birthday by heading north to a cottage, getting drunk by the water, and maybe lighting a sparkler or two in John A. MacDonald’s honour. Reagan (and the cats!) will be back July 2nd, hungover and ready to go!

            Obama Promotes Gay Rights… In Africa?

            Obama in Senegal

            After two historic wins for same-sex marriage in America, Obama has checked the U.S off his list and moved on to gay rights in Africa. Spoiler alert: it’s going to be a tough sell.

            Currently in Senegal, President Obama praised the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act, calling it a “victory for American democracy and a proud day for equal rights“. Obama also expressed support for the recognition of same-sex unions across state lines. Gay rights for all!

            “It’s my personal belief, but I’m speaking now as a president not as a lawyer, that if you marry someone in Massachusetts and you move somewhere else, you’re still married,” Obama told reporters at a news conference in Senegal, “We’re going to be evaluating all these issues.”

            Obama also said he believes these rights should be universal and urged African nations to give gay people equal rights by decriminalising homosexual acts.

            President Macky Sall of Senegal, who was standing next to Obama, didn’t love that comment and gave a quick retort.

            “We are still not ready to decriminalize homosexuality,” Sall said, but insisted that the country体彩手机在线怎么下载 is “very tolerant” and needs more time to digest the issue. “This does not mean we are homophobic.”

            Actually, that’s exactly what is means.

            Under Senegalese law, “an improper or unnatural act with a person of the same sex” can be punished by up to five years in prison. In fact, . In four of those — Mauritania, northern Nigeria, southern Somalia and Sudan — the punishment is death.

            Gay Rights in Africa

            Gay rights aside, Obama went on to praise Senegal as a success story on an otherwise unsuccessful continent.

            Senegal is one of the most stable democracies in Africa and one of the strongest partners that we have in the region,” Obama said. “It’s moving in the right direction with reforms to deepen democratic institutions and as more Africans across this continent stand up and demand governments that are accountable and serve the people, I believe Senegal can be a great example.”

            They just need to work on that whole “homophobia” thing.


            Rush Limbaugh Throws a Temper Tantrum after DOMA Ruling

            Rush Limbaugh

            In a move that surprised no one, conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh threw an on-air temper tantrum after the Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act and California’s Proposition 8.

            Just one day after , which protects minority voters from discrimination, Rush Limbaugh went on a rant about how the Supreme Court should now be abolished entirely.

            “Why do we even need a court if it is going to behave like this?” Rush Limbaugh raged. “Why do we even need a Congress? Why don’t we, every time we want something, just find the nearest judge and say, ‘Hey Judge, I want to do this, what do you think?’ And whatever the judge says is fine. Doesn’t have to be a member of the Supreme Court, just a judge.”

            Yeah, why do we even need a court? In fact, why do we even need a sweaty, overweight, bigoted, loudmouth, redneck spewing nonsense over the radio? Let’s just get rid of everything anyone disagrees with!

            Rush Limbaugh’s temper tantrum also included the usual “gay marriage will lead to polygamy and bestiality” spiel. And it just wouldn’t be a classic Limbaugh rant without a shout out to President Obama. Limbaugh blasted the president for changing his stance on gay marriage as the 2012 election approached.

            “A year and a half ago, 18 months ago, Barack Obama opposed gay marriage,” Limbaugh said. “Just 18 months ago.”

            Limbaugh accused Obama of changing his stance on same-sex marriage after the gay activists got mad at him for not advancing their agenda. How dare a politician change his position to reflect the interests of the majority!

            Now we are told that the whole country体彩手机在线怎么下载 supports gay marriage, and those who don’t are bigots!” Limbaugh raged.

            Poor bigoted Rush Limbaugh. If only he could take a cue fromwho views the Supreme Court rulings as a conservative victory. How is this a conservative victory? Well, by allowing LGBT people to get married, it will make them less slutty. Say goodbye to hot butt sex and say hello to traditional marriage (translation: no sex).

            “I feel that this is a huge conservative victory, because you can no longer deprive someone of an extremely traditional value that makes your life better by curtailing promiscuity and destructive lifestyles.”

            “Talking about myself,” Gutfeld added, “marriage to my wife made me a better man. I want to impose that value on others, because that’s what rightwingers do.”

            Yep, that’s what rightwingers do…


            Current Event Cat of the Day: Aaron Hernandez

            Current Event Cat - Aaron Hernandez

            Yesterday was a tough day for football player Aaron Hernandez – first he was charged with murder and then he was booted out of the New England Patriots. The latter may have had a little something to do with the former… But it’s still a better fate than semi-pro football player Odin Lloyd – he’s dead.

            Yes, former New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez has been charged with murder in the death of 27-year-old Odin Lloyd, who was found shot in the head last week.

            Hernandez, 23, was arrested on Wednesday in his 体彩手机在线怎么下载 south of Boston and later appeared in a packed courtroom, where he faced six criminal charges, the most significant being first degree murder.

            The story goes: Aaron Hernandez and two friends picked up Lloyd at 体彩手机在线怎么下载 at 02:30am on June 17. The group drove through Boston before heading back to North Attleborough. During the ride, Hernandez let Lloyd know that he was upset that Lloyd had spoken with people that he didn’t like at Boston nightclub several nights earlier. What better reason to murder someone! Long story short, multiple gun shots were heard near an industrial park close to Hernandez’s 体彩手机在线怎么下载 around 3:23 a.m and surveillance cameras captured Hernandez carrying a semiautomatic firearm as he and two other men returned to his 体彩手机在线怎么下载 at 3:30 a.m.

            Aaron Hernandez’s lawyer called the case “circumstantial” and “not a strong case”, but the judge was a little skeptical and denied him bail. Probably a good call – his reputation doesn’t exactly scream “give me bail”. A Florida man filed a lawsuit last week claiming Hernandez shot him in the face after they argued at a strip club in February. And it was reported that Hernandez lost his temper and threatened a teammate during an argument in the team’s weight room shortly after he was drafted.

            Via: &

            Texas Loves the Death Penalty… And Other News

            Death Penalty

            Cheer up Texas – you still have the death penalty!

            Even though Texas Republicans are

            (dedicated to Bums, the ultimate Brony)

            Democrats Filibustered Texas Abortion Bill to Death

            Wendy Davis during her Texas Senate filibuster Abortion Bill

            Texas Democrats managed to block an abortion bill that would shut most of the abortion clinics in the state all thanks to the magic of filibustering.

            Democratic Senator Wendy Davis spoke for over 10 hours in attempt to delay the abortion bill that would ban the procedure after 20 weeks of pregnancy and require all abortions take place in surgical centres.

            Davis was chosen to lead the filibuster because she was once a teen mom who went on to graduate from Harvard Law School. Speaking about Planned Parenthood, Senator Davis said, “I was a poor, uninsured woman, whose only care was provided through that facility. It was my medical 体彩手机在线怎么下载.”

            Filibustering is not an easy task. The rules include:

            • No sitting
            • No bathroom breaks
            • No talking about anything unrelated to the bill

            Decked out in pink running shoes and a supportive backbrace, Davis needed to talk for 13 hours in order to stop the bill before it could be voted on by the end of the legislative session.

            “The leadership may not want to listen to Texas women, but they will have to listen to me. I intend to filibuster this bill.”

            Unfortunately, just before midnight, Davis’s filibuster came to an end after Republicans accused her of violating one of the strict parliamentary rules: going off topic.

            Abortion rights activists in the upstairs gallery did not like this. Fearing the abortion bill would pass before the midnight deadline, they erupted in outcry, managing to disrupt the Republican senators and further delay the vote.

            “Get them out!” Republican Senator Donna Campbell shouted to a security guard. “Time is running out!”

            The Republican dominated Senate soon announced they had somehow managed to successfully pass the bill in the nick of time, but in a final twist it was later discovered that the Republicans’ final vote was taken too late to count, rendering the vote invalid.

            Republicans blamed the Democratic victory on “all the ruckus and noise” and “an unruly mob using Occupy Wall Street tactics”. Republican Governor Rick Perry was especially upset – he was itching to sign the bill into law and make abortion a



            Current Event Cat of the Day: Julia Gillard Gets the Boot

            Current Event Cat - Australian Showdown Julia Gillard

            Julia Gillard Kentucky Fried Quail is no longer on the menu. Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard was ousted as Labor Party leader by her predecessor, Kevin Rudd.

            Interestingly enough, Julia Gillard ousted Kevin Rudd in a similar internal government coup three years ago, thus becoming the country体彩手机在线怎么下载’s first female prime minister. What goes around comes around!

            The Labor Party took a closed-door leadership vote and Kevin Rudd won by 57 votes to 45. The party hopes the new leadership will help them avoid a huge defeat in the upcoming elections – set for September 14. The polls indicated that the party under Julia Gillard was almost certain to face a catastrophic loss against opposition leader Tony Abbott. Kevin Rudd probably won’t lead the party to victory either, but party members are hoping he will at least minimize their losses.

            Gillard took the defeat in stride , “I will not re-contest the federal electorate… at the forthcoming election.”

            “What I am absolutely confident of is it will be easier for the next woman and the woman after that and the woman after that, and I’m proud of that,” she added.

            Gillard had a bit of a rocky ride as leader of the Labor party. In addition to leading a minority government, she also had to deal with two previous attempts at a Kevin Rudd takeover and a bunch of voters who never quite warmed up to her after she ousted the prime minister they had elected. And to top it off there was the whole “Julia Gillard Kentucky Fried Quail: small breasts, huge thighs, and a big red box” incident…


            Two Historic Wins for Same-Sex Marriage

            same-sex marriage is a go

            A big victory for same-sex marriage: the Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act, the 1996 law that prevented the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriage.

            It was a close one – the court’s voted 5-4 that the Defense of Marriage Act, known as DOMA, denied equal protection to same-sex couples. DOMA, defines marriage as between a man and a woman for the purpose of deciding who can receive a range of federal benefits. Back in the day DOMA sailed through Congress and was signed into law by President Bill Clinton in 1996, the year of his re-election – a decision he now whole-heartedly regrets.

            Justice Kennedy wrote the majority decision, explaining that DOMA is an unconstitutional deprivation of equal liberty and a violation of the Fifth Amendment. Which means the dissenting judges – Roberts, Scalia, Thomas, and Alito – are bigots…?

            Justice Scalia had this to say in the dissent:

            “In my view a perfectly valid justification for this statute is contained in its title: the Defense of Marriage Act.”

            “We have no power under the Constitution to invalidate this democratically adopted legislation”.

            Not like the you struck down yesterday… that was totally different.

            But enough about Scalia – on to the good stuff: Overturning Doma means that legally married gay men and women are entitled to claim the same federal benefits available to opposite-sex married couples. However, gay marriage is only legal in 12 states (and the District of Columbia!) so the ruling only applies to them at this time. More than 30 states currently ban same-sex marriage but with opinion polls showing most Americans support gay marriage, it’s only a matter of time.

            Stay tuned: the court has yet to release its decision on California’s ban on same-sex marriage. California went through a brief gay marriage phase in 2008 after the California Supreme Court struck down a state code provision prohibiting gay unions. But then California voters passed Proposition 8, effectively writing a gay marriage ban into the state constitution. 18,000 couples were married in California during this period. Oh wait… the ruling just came in as I was typing… California’s Prop 8 has been dismissed!

            Yay SCOTUS

            The court ruled that opponents of same-sex marriage did not have standing to appeal a lower-court ruling that overturned California’s ban, effectively removing all legal obstacles to same-sex marriage in the state. Translation: gay marriage for all!! (of California…)


            Knock-Knock Jokes, Murder Trials… And Other News


            Knock-knock jokes do not go over well in murder trials.

            George Zimmerman’s defense lawyer, Don West, learned this the hard way after his knock-knock joke during his opening statement to the jury in the Trayvon Martin case was met with silence.

            “Knock-Knock,” West said.

            “Who is there?”

            “George Zimmerman.”

            “George Zimmerman who?”

            “All right, good. You’re on the jury.”

            Cue awkward silence… Still, a little lighter than the prosecutor’s opening: “Good morning. F*cking punks. These a**holes always get away.” The prosecutor was using George Zimmerman’s own words in an attempt to paint Zimmerman as a “loose-cannon vigilante”. Should make for an interesting trial!

            Obama Climate ChangeNeeding to distract everyone from the NSA scandal (among others), President Barack Obama has laid out a package of measures aimed at curbing climate change. The plan involves regulating carbon emissions from both new and existing power plants and calls for renewable-energy projects on public lands and federal facilities, as well as infrastructure improvements designed to prepare the U.S. for severe weather. Obama told the audience at Georgetown University, “As a president, as a father and as an American, I am here to say we need to act”. The President also pledged to “lead the world in a co-ordinated assault on a changing climate”. But what about those Republican climate change deniers? Obama: “We don’t have time for a meeting of the Flat Earth Society!” New York Times

            ! The Supreme Court didn’t go so far as to grant the couple an adoption, but threw out the South Carolina court decisions awarding custody to the father.

            Forgot Your Password? There’s a Pill for That.

            Password Pill

            Are you always forgetting your password? Too lazy to write them all down? Too paranoid about hackers to just use one?

            Well, Motorola thinks it has a solution to the password problem. The company is working with doctors to perfect a tiny, swallowable device that stores your codes and ID in your stomach. Technology is getting creepier by the day…

            In order for the pill to work you would have to provide Motorola with your password information and they would create a custom pill that had a tiny electronic chip inside it. The password pill automatically syncs up with your smartphone and can confirm your identity to every device. In theory you would never have to remember another password in your life. Somehow the pill is powered by stomach acid and emits a 18-bit, ECG-like signal.

            The only catch? (Besides having your stomach become some sort of satellite..) The password pill passes through your body in 24 hours so you would have to take a pill everyday – otherwise you might forget your all your information and just end up wandering the streets aimlessly.

            The password pill may seem like an overly complicated and potentially hazardous solution to a small annoyance, but Regina Dugan, senior vice president of Motorola’s Advanced Technology & Projects, thinks the password pill is a necessity that will make everyone’s life easier.

            “People have to authenticate themselves (to 体彩手机在线怎么下载) on average 39 times a day, or log into their phone 100 times a day, and coming up with hacker-proof passwords has become more insane,” Dugan explained, “Sorting this out will improve everyone’s lives.”

            “I would take the pill along with my vitamin every morning. It’s my first super-power. I want that.”

            Mad-scientist quotes aside, I don’t know about this password pill… What if somebody steals your pills? Can they take over your identity? And more importantly, just how does this pill “pass through your system”?

            Passwords are definitely a problem – people aren’t great at creating them and people are even worse at remembering them. Maybe getting rid of passwords altogether would be a better solution – either by fingerprint authentication or eyeball scanning. Then again, I’d rather have a hacker steal my pills than cut off my finger. Then again, it might be simplest to just write my passwords down and make sure they aren’t on the ””: password, 123456, 12345678, jesus, monkey, trustno1, etc.


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